there really is nothing like watching the sunrise. and good thing. it's nice to have events in this world that are like no other. note em, mark em, appreciate em.
i have been trying to learn to sit still. i pull out the bleacher chair onto the stoop and watch for about thirty minutes while the sky goes through an awesome transformation. slowly the black turns to midnight blue and streaks of magenta and dark orange appear on the horizon. it all happens so fast as the cirrus clouds go from grey to pink to white. it's difficult for me to sit and just watch and be present. i am always thinking about what's next...an email, this blog, work....i use the idea of a border collie around my thoughts - circle em, bring em in. stay HERE.
once it's up, its nice too - but dawn! don't miss it next time you have a chance.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
fair game
granted, the minnesota state fair is not for everyone. there's a lotta noxious smells, there's a lotta ill-fitted clothing and there is a LOT of unhealthy food. but if done properly, you've got a fighting chance at makin some great memories.
new to us: we took an express bus from the burbs. one, we aren't huge fairgoers. we like hittin the music and grubbing a bit - but two, we sure as shit have never ventured into the human abyss that is first saturday evening at the great minnesota getagether. but we gave it a-go and parked at kmart, downed a few cans of sierra nevada and hopped on for a ride "there and back again." well, presumably "back."
the comfy cruise took us west on 94 in a roundabout way, flying past a brainless cyclist (i support biking but this dude was hiiiiigh! millimeter flyby miss by the maybe-a-little-aggressive-but-sorta-justified bus driver) coming to a slow motion crawl towards the cattle lot that was "the metro transit loading zone." talk about mmmooooo. we departed the bus with pleasantries and when we finally snaked around the bodies at every community's "stop" we found a huge line for tickets. screeeeech on efficiency. luckily pete doesn't handle lines well and suggested we walk a few feet east to a completely empty entrance. goodbye cows, hello....fair.
much to my surprise, pete then headed straight into the miracle of birth barn....only discovering his misdirection when he looked up and saw video of an emerging placenta on mounted tv at the entrance! yes! placentas rule! I was totally pumped by at least getting to cut through the barn cause I knew i'd have a solid chance at seeing some piglets - no matter how brief. that'll do, pig. that'll do.
first food stop? poutine! our pals are from ottawa and this didn't compare, but reminded us of the time four years earlier that we hit the fair with them and there then four-month old son who did NOT like the horses neighing. "no, we don't need to try it again, lou! he's just gonna screeeam again!" neeeeeeeeigh.....waaaaaaahhhhh!
next up, a wander towards judson and nelson, my free outdoor news (maybe just a hug says the sportsman in the booth) and then off to corn. gotta get the corn. famous daves ribs, a cold beer (finally) and some blues, baby! it was dry and it was windy so ya hadta cover yer cup if it wasn't to your mouth. but the tunes were nice and the crowd was friendly.
but our real destination (at this point in the evening anyway) was dear old heritage village. pert near sandstone was playing soon and we wanted to go get a spot and catch up with our pals. EVERYtime i walk into that subculture i love it even more.
new to us: we took an express bus from the burbs. one, we aren't huge fairgoers. we like hittin the music and grubbing a bit - but two, we sure as shit have never ventured into the human abyss that is first saturday evening at the great minnesota getagether. but we gave it a-go and parked at kmart, downed a few cans of sierra nevada and hopped on for a ride "there and back again." well, presumably "back."
the comfy cruise took us west on 94 in a roundabout way, flying past a brainless cyclist (i support biking but this dude was hiiiiigh! millimeter flyby miss by the maybe-a-little-aggressive-but-sorta-justified bus driver) coming to a slow motion crawl towards the cattle lot that was "the metro transit loading zone." talk about mmmooooo. we departed the bus with pleasantries and when we finally snaked around the bodies at every community's "stop" we found a huge line for tickets. screeeeech on efficiency. luckily pete doesn't handle lines well and suggested we walk a few feet east to a completely empty entrance. goodbye cows, hello....fair.
much to my surprise, pete then headed straight into the miracle of birth barn....only discovering his misdirection when he looked up and saw video of an emerging placenta on mounted tv at the entrance! yes! placentas rule! I was totally pumped by at least getting to cut through the barn cause I knew i'd have a solid chance at seeing some piglets - no matter how brief. that'll do, pig. that'll do.
first food stop? poutine! our pals are from ottawa and this didn't compare, but reminded us of the time four years earlier that we hit the fair with them and there then four-month old son who did NOT like the horses neighing. "no, we don't need to try it again, lou! he's just gonna screeeam again!" neeeeeeeeigh.....waaaaaaahhhhh!
next up, a wander towards judson and nelson, my free outdoor news (maybe just a hug says the sportsman in the booth) and then off to corn. gotta get the corn. famous daves ribs, a cold beer (finally) and some blues, baby! it was dry and it was windy so ya hadta cover yer cup if it wasn't to your mouth. but the tunes were nice and the crowd was friendly.
but our real destination (at this point in the evening anyway) was dear old heritage village. pert near sandstone was playing soon and we wanted to go get a spot and catch up with our pals. EVERYtime i walk into that subculture i love it even more.
Monday, August 26, 2013
slow moving vehicle
things here took a hard left turn into wrongtown, usa not long ago. i said this wasn't a dream journal or a hope diary - but when there are so few outlets and so much oozing, shits gotta come out somewhere. thank god for draft status, that's all i have to say.
"don't forget to go outside" means get off yer duff and go check out life. but it also means go lay on the hammock and watch the clouds float by. don't have a hammock? go buy one for god's sake - they are stupendous!
i think we move too fast. i think we also use collective pronouns when we are really just talking about ourselves.
winter, spring, summer...labor day is around the corner. and i think i blasted through all of it in 5th gear. which, i must admit, just stripped out a few weeks ago. stripped out hard. karma police - airbag deployed and i am checking out the wreckage right now. a year in omaha has taken a solid gold dump on our lives - but i think in the end, for the better. my innate ability to juggle other people's wants and needs while looking so casually casual needs a hiatus.
slow 'er down. just go for a walk. lay in the yard. picnic at the beach. notice people and birds and bugs. there is nowhere you have to be except right here, where you are. and whilst this slowdown, be sure to keep writing about your dreams and your hopes. just not here, pal.
in related news: woot woot! shopping for a new car! "new new?" you ask? probably not. let's not get crazy here. but new-to-me is good enough! my dream car is actually a toyota tacoma with a topper - preferably green. buuuuut, it's looking like it'll be a sedan. practical, logical, and utilitarian. those are my adjectives, unpacked and on display. sports car? convertible? mini-suv? nope, nope and nope. the only real problem with sedan is how boring it is. snore. but i will say this: i don't really care. i mean i have never been a car person, really. i loved my gramma sunbug, already mentioned the pickup, but other than that? to and fro, yo. to and fro.
and after a year of dashing, i will be moving back to the slow lane, thankyouverymuch.
"don't forget to go outside" means get off yer duff and go check out life. but it also means go lay on the hammock and watch the clouds float by. don't have a hammock? go buy one for god's sake - they are stupendous!
i think we move too fast. i think we also use collective pronouns when we are really just talking about ourselves.
winter, spring, summer...labor day is around the corner. and i think i blasted through all of it in 5th gear. which, i must admit, just stripped out a few weeks ago. stripped out hard. karma police - airbag deployed and i am checking out the wreckage right now. a year in omaha has taken a solid gold dump on our lives - but i think in the end, for the better. my innate ability to juggle other people's wants and needs while looking so casually casual needs a hiatus.
slow 'er down. just go for a walk. lay in the yard. picnic at the beach. notice people and birds and bugs. there is nowhere you have to be except right here, where you are. and whilst this slowdown, be sure to keep writing about your dreams and your hopes. just not here, pal.
in related news: woot woot! shopping for a new car! "new new?" you ask? probably not. let's not get crazy here. but new-to-me is good enough! my dream car is actually a toyota tacoma with a topper - preferably green. buuuuut, it's looking like it'll be a sedan. practical, logical, and utilitarian. those are my adjectives, unpacked and on display. sports car? convertible? mini-suv? nope, nope and nope. the only real problem with sedan is how boring it is. snore. but i will say this: i don't really care. i mean i have never been a car person, really. i loved my gramma sunbug, already mentioned the pickup, but other than that? to and fro, yo. to and fro.
and after a year of dashing, i will be moving back to the slow lane, thankyouverymuch.
Friday, August 23, 2013
walk it off
waning moon. bugs buzzing. frogs croaking. 72 degrees perfect. hands clasped. uneven sidewalks. tree shadows.
iron woman
rule#1: wow. do NOT drink and blog.
rule#2: but don't be too hard on yourself. that was hilarious to find! (deleted, yo).
in unrelated news: self-sufficiency may NOT be the entire point of life as I know it.
that's really going to put a kink in my costume.
kinda built the whole persona on the ability to have it figured out already. or at least be ABLE to figure it out. find the problem, ask a buncha questions to experts, devise a solution, implement it....I know the drill well.
but quite unsolvable and quite all up in my business lately: emotions & feelings.
blurg.
I heard from a friend that his wife was like, "nah. i'm not interested in going any more in-depth about my actions, reactions, emotions and the like." nice. know your boundaries, I guess.
but see me, I like a good problem. I like a good puzzle. I LOVE to get to the bottom of things.....so ima quite sure i'll stick with this. maybe I don't have the tools yet or the skills or the know-how...but I think that's exactly it. I can't go to pete's shelf in the garage and find something what'll do the job...this is just way different territory than I am used to.
navigate thyself.
and then go eat lunch on the lawn, cause summer goes fast, kids!
rule#2: but don't be too hard on yourself. that was hilarious to find! (deleted, yo).
in unrelated news: self-sufficiency may NOT be the entire point of life as I know it.
that's really going to put a kink in my costume.
kinda built the whole persona on the ability to have it figured out already. or at least be ABLE to figure it out. find the problem, ask a buncha questions to experts, devise a solution, implement it....I know the drill well.
but quite unsolvable and quite all up in my business lately: emotions & feelings.
blurg.
I heard from a friend that his wife was like, "nah. i'm not interested in going any more in-depth about my actions, reactions, emotions and the like." nice. know your boundaries, I guess.
but see me, I like a good problem. I like a good puzzle. I LOVE to get to the bottom of things.....so ima quite sure i'll stick with this. maybe I don't have the tools yet or the skills or the know-how...but I think that's exactly it. I can't go to pete's shelf in the garage and find something what'll do the job...this is just way different territory than I am used to.
navigate thyself.
and then go eat lunch on the lawn, cause summer goes fast, kids!
Monday, January 21, 2013
phleghmbot
google wants to help people find my blog. little does it know i have no intention of pulling a zuckerberg and going public. s'alright though. it's just trying to help. it. faceless, nameless one. google.
pete might have seen the hobbit tonite! but i think neither one of us wants to chance that the other is in bed so we aren't contacting. i love us.
sometimes.
especially when we aren't phleghmbots! nikster coughed in our faces for christmas so he got sick first and then i caught it nye. happy holidaze. two weeks and out - can't complain too much. i am still haunted by the linger spring cough of 2012. linger is the wrong verb. it was incessant and relentless and persistant and psychologically damaging. i am so weak-minded. i have no idea how i'd endure anything more harsh than that "cold."
interesting article today about frankl. meaning vs happiness. i think we can all be pretty sure of ourselves when we agree i have 99% happiness and 1% meaning. ouch. but honestly. these are things i am ready to tackle at 35. 35 alive! tackle and master? no, life is slower than that. just chip away at.
pete might have seen the hobbit tonite! but i think neither one of us wants to chance that the other is in bed so we aren't contacting. i love us.
sometimes.
especially when we aren't phleghmbots! nikster coughed in our faces for christmas so he got sick first and then i caught it nye. happy holidaze. two weeks and out - can't complain too much. i am still haunted by the linger spring cough of 2012. linger is the wrong verb. it was incessant and relentless and persistant and psychologically damaging. i am so weak-minded. i have no idea how i'd endure anything more harsh than that "cold."
interesting article today about frankl. meaning vs happiness. i think we can all be pretty sure of ourselves when we agree i have 99% happiness and 1% meaning. ouch. but honestly. these are things i am ready to tackle at 35. 35 alive! tackle and master? no, life is slower than that. just chip away at.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
ready, set, go
i just got a little discouraged while doing a search for a literary agent. and then i was like maybe you should write the book first. right. write.
new tactic - consolidation. i keep thinking about this tactic, but not really taking action. and by not really taking action, i mean buying three more places to write things down. holy moses, kid. get a grip.
so if shit doesn't hit the fan and the dear mayans in all their wisdom didn't really mean for the world to end, i am going to label 2013 as the year to bring it tagetha. 2012 was wake up. one year was deliberate.
but as with so many things in my life - they don't stick. ideas, themes, mantras, intentions. i just talked to dad about this the other day: the builders in my life (lots) have so much experience seeing it through. knowing that you have to start somewhere to get anywhere. understanding that it's quite possible you will have to take many many steps backwards to go forwards again. and that it's not about the end result, but the process. though the end result has got to feel good. i don't think i've undertaken anything that requires any semblance of tedium, complexity or patience. if i can't complete it in 30 minutes, why start it? and if it takes any longer, why finish it?
there is a slowing down that i'd like to see. i can ponder thoughts and write out diatribes and be hilarious and craft the sound...but to what end? i laugh a LOT when i reread. and i love that. i love not even remembering having that thought but feeling like i know that person who wrote that. maybe just because of the handwriting sometimes - cause i swear some of those thoughts - i'm not sure i'd have them the same way twice.
here is where i make short statements. here is where i plant seeds. there isn't much here, but how does my garden grow? never that great.
so 2013: i'm gonna try. i have a least a backpack full of paper products and 1gb worth of electronic ones. i am so wintry mixed on how to tackle this. part of me wants to go retro and not trust a cloud or a hard drive. and part of me knows i can type faster and craft better on this thing. so. i think there will have to be a meeting of the minds on this. put out some options, come up with a plan, and just run with it. i think you can trust things you think you can't. and i think you will feel so much better if you commit to this in a way you've wanted to for seven years. please don't let another year go by where you did nothing. this is a perfect chance. BANG!
new tactic - consolidation. i keep thinking about this tactic, but not really taking action. and by not really taking action, i mean buying three more places to write things down. holy moses, kid. get a grip.
so if shit doesn't hit the fan and the dear mayans in all their wisdom didn't really mean for the world to end, i am going to label 2013 as the year to bring it tagetha. 2012 was wake up. one year was deliberate.
but as with so many things in my life - they don't stick. ideas, themes, mantras, intentions. i just talked to dad about this the other day: the builders in my life (lots) have so much experience seeing it through. knowing that you have to start somewhere to get anywhere. understanding that it's quite possible you will have to take many many steps backwards to go forwards again. and that it's not about the end result, but the process. though the end result has got to feel good. i don't think i've undertaken anything that requires any semblance of tedium, complexity or patience. if i can't complete it in 30 minutes, why start it? and if it takes any longer, why finish it?
there is a slowing down that i'd like to see. i can ponder thoughts and write out diatribes and be hilarious and craft the sound...but to what end? i laugh a LOT when i reread. and i love that. i love not even remembering having that thought but feeling like i know that person who wrote that. maybe just because of the handwriting sometimes - cause i swear some of those thoughts - i'm not sure i'd have them the same way twice.
here is where i make short statements. here is where i plant seeds. there isn't much here, but how does my garden grow? never that great.
so 2013: i'm gonna try. i have a least a backpack full of paper products and 1gb worth of electronic ones. i am so wintry mixed on how to tackle this. part of me wants to go retro and not trust a cloud or a hard drive. and part of me knows i can type faster and craft better on this thing. so. i think there will have to be a meeting of the minds on this. put out some options, come up with a plan, and just run with it. i think you can trust things you think you can't. and i think you will feel so much better if you commit to this in a way you've wanted to for seven years. please don't let another year go by where you did nothing. this is a perfect chance. BANG!
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